Three Things Not to Do on Valentine’s Day (For Clueless Husbands)1. Buy your wife sexy lingeré unless you know for certain what her size and taste is. If the teddy is too big, she’ll take it as a message that you think she’s fat. If the gown and peignoir are too small, you’re also in trouble. She’ll have to return it, and most likely they won’t have the item in her size. She will become frustrated, especially after trying on other items the store did have in her size in fluorescent light that saps her self-esteem and makes her feel ugly. Chances are you won’t get the benefit you expected.
2. Gift her with a domestic appliance. You may think that a new handvac will make her life easier, which to you translates as love. To your wife, a vacuum cleaner means that you see her as a housekeeper, which isn’t very romantic, unless you buy into the whole French maid fantasy.
3. Bring home a box of chocolates IF she’s on a diet. That’s called diet sabotage. If, however, she’s not worried about the calories or she, like me, believes a person can consume as much chocolate as she wants on Valentine’s Day without recrimination, then you’re golden.
What you should do is think about what makes your wife happy. If she likes silky lingeré or flannel pajamas, know her size before you buy. Check with her best friend or sister, or look at something she currently wears. Unless she’s one of those women we all hate, who can still fit into her wedding dress, do not use the size of the chemise she wore on your honeymoon fifteen years ago!
You could also show your love by making dinner or ordering her favorite take-out, or procure her some romantic reading. Why not remind her of what it feels like to fall in love? To go about doing so the right way, you should check her “To Be Read” pile to see what subgenre she likes—historical, paranormal, suspense. Read the back cover copy so that you get a feel for time periods, what level of sensuality she prefers, whether or not she likes her romance with a sense of humor, and what authors and titles she already has. Once you’ve done your homework, go to the romance section of your local bookstore and spend some time reading the back cover copy of books she hasn’t yet read until you find the perfect story for your wife. She will be impressed by the time and care you’ve spent in picking the perfect way to say “I love you.”
One last tip—tell her why you love her. You’ll probably get the reward you were hoping for when you bought that lingeré that didn’t go over so well last year.