**a. Pretend not to be home.

**b. Storm out on the porch and angrily say, “Why didn’t you call first?” Then you blame her (and your messy family, and the hummus-drooling dog) for forcing you to be rude, when you’re really a gracious hostess!

**c. Let your sister-in-law come in, but follow her around the house making embarrassed noises about the mess.

**d. Let your sister-in-law come in, and after shoving aside a spot on the couch, you forget all about the mess. After all, she’s come to see you, not the house!

2. At your office’s holiday party, a superskinny co-worker looks down her nose at your well-filled plate and says, “Aren’t you worried about gaining weight?” In reply, you:

**a. Feel self-conscious at the size of your hips, and put down the plate. After the party, you stop by Krispy Kreme and eat the whole dozen donuts in the privacy of your own home.

**b. Snarl back, “Go back to South Beach, you Diet Nazi!” Then defiantly eat a whole pumpkin pie. And you don’t even *like* pumpkin pie.

**c. Make whining excuses about why you “deserve a few treats”. You’re so focused on making your co-worker agree with you that you hardly notice as you clean your plate.

**d. Look her straight in the eye, and say with a gleeful grin, “Nope.”


3. A new member of your writing group, a lovely twentysomething, announces that she’s just sold the first draft of her first full manuscript to Jen Enderlin at St. Martin’s Press. “And there’s even going to be a book tour!” Your reaction:

**a. You leave the meeting, drive straight home, and pull a blanket over your head. You were stupid to ever think you could make it as a writer. You’re giving up, forever. Again.

**b. You wait for the bright-eyed newbie in the alley after the meeting. A friend holds her down as you punch her in the face, screaming, “Jen Enderlin is mine, do you hear me?! MINE!”

**c. You ask the newbie’s advice and hang on her every word. You assume she must know more about life than you do, even though she’s 20 years younger than you and thinks you’re talking about an appliance brand when you mention Jane Eyre.

**d. You feel a brief stab of jealousy, but it’s gone before she can even finish the phrase “significant deal”. A flooding tide rises all boats, right? Her dreams came true and so can yours. You even avoid smugly considering the stressful nightmare her next attempt at a book will be.


Finished? Okay, you Posse girls, you know the drill.

If you picked mostly As: What are you hiding from, little mouse? Your life is passing you by while you’re quivering in your comfort zone!

If you picked mostly Bs: Can we say anger management? You think you’re a rebel, but guess what? You’re still allowing your feelings to be controlled by someone else!

If you picked mostly Cs: You’re so desperate for the approval of others, you don’t even have an opinion of your own! (So you’ll believe me when I call you a sad little suck-up, whether it’s true or not!)

If you picked As, Bs, and Cs: In all these cases, you’re giving other people, even complete strangers, the power to decide if you enjoy your life.

If you picked mostly Ds: Welcome to the heady world of being the ultimate ruler of your own country: YOU.


Author’s note: I have a point, I promise! Look for the rest of my semi-serious Posse Girl’s Guide tomorrow… “Confidence: How to Get It (It’s Easier than You Think, Duh)”